Job Ads And Elections

I was going to call this rant number two, but I'm not sure I feel like ranting right now.

Feeling a little delicate, you see.

Late night last night.

It's too early in the morning still - London GST - to be ranting (despite what blogger says the time is- you're wrong blogger baby!)

Anyway, job ads.

Don't you just loathe 'em. Must be a horrendous job to have to write about all those horrendous jobs out there.

"Here is an interesting opportunity - A global management consultancy is looking to recruit. Ideal candidates will have a background in consultancy, competition economics, litigation support and sticking their tongues as far up management arses as they can go."

How can that be an interesting opportunity!?

Having sex with Rachael Weitz is what I would call an interesting opportunity.

(Cracking photo isn't it? Thank you very much for taking it, Naomi.)

I have done a job similar to the one quoted (even the tongue thing, but not very well hence why I am here writing to you) and I can tell you it was not interesting (or tasty).

"If you have the high level secretariat experience we require and if you are looking for a challenging role where your multi-tasking skills will be fully utilised and you will never, ever get to go home (not even at weekends), we would love to hear from you."

Do these people really think they will recruit someone?

Truth be told they probably will.

To stop all this nonsense I reckon I should start a revolution or something.

Workers and non-workers should unite to overcome the tyranny of office life.

So, vote for me Lord Loafer at the local and European elections tomorrow.

I will free every one of you so that we can all loaf together!

Remember vote for me - Even if you can't see my name on the ballot paper.

Vote with your mind, if not your pen.

Freedom to loaf, play this game (http://www.gamesgames.com/game/Crush-the-Castle.html) and dream about getting up close and personal with Rachael Weitz.

Sigh.

The Ides Of March

The Ides of March.

March 15th.

In Roman times it was a festive day featuring a military parade.

In 44BC, it was Julius Caesar's assassination day.

So beware! Be-bloody-ware!!

My Ides of March occurred a week or so earlier on the 6th March.

That's was the date I was made redundant.

Didn't really feel like an assassination I must admit, although one of the people who got rid of me I have likened to a smiling assassin - friendly enough to your face but ready to plunge the knife into your back when given a chance.

It was more like a mugging, where I played the perfect victim.

The managing director, the one who ultimately had the power - well, the less said about them the better... Poisonous, evil, a bully, their life so empty that they are happy for work to entirely dominate their life (and everyone else's). Sad, bad and more than ever so slightly mad.

So redundancy, when it happened, was a relief.

It was like being released from prison.

After the meeting with HR, (a Show Trial if ever there was one - the MD being judge, jury and executioner) I remember wandering around the streets of London in a numb daze. A pale-faced, sleep-deprived, over-worked, suddenly out-of-work individual blindly walking around the West End in the late afternoon sunshine.

I left a two word message on someone's voice mail, "I'm out".

Not out of the closet. It's always been women for me. Just out.

As in outside, no longer inside. No longer a wage slave, no longer an organization man heading to an early grave.

6th of March - Ghana's independence day. And mine.

No more spreadsheets for a while. And no more festering in a crap office.

I went home and slept.

A lot.

But not before checking myself for knife wounds.